


Guilt-Tripping Your Way To A New Broom (gift three)

by crazyparakiss



Series: A Kiss Christmas, December Gifts 2017 [3]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-07
Updated: 2017-12-07
Packaged: 2019-02-11 21:27:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 725
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12944295
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crazyparakiss/pseuds/crazyparakiss
Summary: Harry and Draco never worked out how to use a silencing charm, and Teddy plans to use that to his advantage.





	Guilt-Tripping Your Way To A New Broom (gift three)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [not_here_not_there](https://archiveofourown.org/users/not_here_not_there/gifts).



> I just felt like spreading more humour and cheer, hope you enjoy <3 
> 
> It's not exactly a raising Teddy Fic, but it's implied he's been raised by them both and I am always here for the Drarry!Family!Feels
> 
> not_here_not_there, I hope you know I was truly touched when you loved Leave the Camping...so much that you came back to poke the fic again. Thanks for being an awesome cheerleader <3  
> -Kiss

Teddy’s grown accustomed to the odd bumps in the night, the ones followed by a hiss of rage or a squeal of delight. Then there’s the murmured arguing or the teasing lilt of breathlessness--all of the sounds cause him to groan, roll over, and bury his head beneath his pillow. Because Teddy  _ knows _ . He’s eighteen for fuck’s sake--he’s made many a lewd sound and has pulled them from others. It’s funny how they are thirty-six and still think they are being careful, still believe they have him fooled about their nightly activities. Because what parent doesn’t want to live in a state of denial. 

 

Tonight he’s on Christmas holiday from university and they are louder than normal. Him being away so long often makes them forget they have to be careful--and he curses his inability to fall asleep earlier than midnight.  

 

“Shut up, you twit, Teddy will hear,” comes the posh lilt Teddy misses when he’s gone, followed by a hiss that morphs into a groan. 

 

“He’s a heavy sleeper, remember--always has been,” is the humoured reply. “I could have you over the counter screaming and he’d sleep through it.” Teddy pulls a face at the mental image that conjures. “Besides you threw up the silencing charm, he’ll not hear a thing.” 

 

There’s something of a scramble, dishes clattering to the floor, a couple of shouted  _ shits _ , before Draco’s voice rises, at Harry, in accusation, “I didn’t throw up the silencing charm, you did--didn’t you?” Before Harry can answer, Draco adds, “I’ve always left them to you because you’re better at them.” 

 

“No,” Harry replies, voice slow and horrified. “I never do them because I always fuck them up.” There’s a pregnant pause, and then he hisses, “We’ve been doing this every night for fuck ever, are you telling me there’s never been a silencing charm?” 

 

“You’ve never set a charm,” Draco shouts, no longer seeming to care if Teddy hears. He’s busy casting Harry as the one at fault--when the fault lies in both of them. “Potter, you are a fucking irresponsible twat.” 

 

“Now you wait just a fucking min-,” Harry starts, but Draco cuts him off. 

 

“Do you know the kind of filth you speak when we do this,” Draco demands. “That child is going to need years of therapy.”  _ Probably, _ Teddy agrees. 

 

“As if you’re any fucking better, Malfoy,” Harry counters. Which, valid, Draco’s nothing of a blushing maiden. At least from what Teddy’s heard, in small doses, through the years. “With your  _ Harder, Daddy _ bullshit.” Which is probably the least horrific thing Draco says--Teddy has been slapped before when he tried repeating some of the other things with old girlfriends. 

 

“You’re the pervert who enjoys it,” Draco’s tone has gone shrill. As it often does when he’s feeling attacked. “You love when I tell you how much I need your cock,  _ Daddy. _ ”  _ Gross,  _ Teddy thinks with a wrinkle of his nose. 

 

“Fuck,” the way Harry whispers that word lets Teddy know that now they’ve gone from shouting back to sexual tension--Teddy decides they need a good dousing of cold water. Standing from his bed he moves, yanking open his door to bellow down at them. 

 

“One of you sodding shits had better throw up a goddamn silencing charm or so help me, God, I am coming down there to hex you both.” His words cause a quiet to ring through the house, and he grins--though they cannot see--when he adds, “What, got nothing to say,  _ Mummy  _ and  _ Daddy. _ ” He doesn’t cackle but it’s a near thing. Their discomfort is palpable and he thinks it serves them fucking right.

 

When he’s shutting his door he feels the ripple of their combined magic, setting a silencing charm over his room, and Teddy knows that he will be able to sleep soundly tonight. Teddy’s also pretty certain they are going to try and make it up to him by giving him whatever the hell he wants for Christmas this year. He’s chortling to himself when he pulls out his Mirror, whispering a message out to Louis. 

 

_ I’m getting that racing broom, prat, you owe me eight galleons.  _

 

He doesn’t think he’ll tell them that he’s been putting up the silencing charms, all by himself, for years. 

 

_ This is going to be so much fun.   _   
  



End file.
